Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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