I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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