whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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