Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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