I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
The air was thick with penises
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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