Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Randomize