Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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