i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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