i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
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I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
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ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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