remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize