I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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