i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
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So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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