I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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