alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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