If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize