i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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