well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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