hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize