I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We smell like vodka and hangover
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