I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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