I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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