Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
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I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
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He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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