we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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