I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize