Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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