Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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