i love accidental penises.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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