My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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