Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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