it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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