i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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