just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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