we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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