if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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