I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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