I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
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it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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