Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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