I seem to have left my pride at pride
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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