I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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