All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize