My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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