He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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