i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
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I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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