Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize