hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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