she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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