eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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