How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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