I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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