Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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